Rocky, the Handsome Gelding

Photos of our newest addition, Rocky. (And a bonus photo with Addie as a bit of a size comparison. Addie will be three in June!)

Currently Rocky seems to enjoy nothing more than rolling in the dirt/leaves :)

He also is a big fan of being led around by his lead, but not a fan of getting his halter on without a little food reward for his efforts.

Isn't he handsome? It's hard to see his colors but he is more red than brown in the sun, and more brown than red when he stands in the rain (He doesn't mind it).

His previous owner has let her older kiddos ride him, but I don't think he's anywhere near ready to be ridden until he can conquer some of his basic fears.

Fears include:

-Anything or anyone taller than he.
-Being touched anywhere other than his face, and not even a fan of that if he hasn't warmed up to you.
-Anything running up to him
-Not being rewarded for excellent behavior with a treat
-Having his feet trimmed (But we managed to bribe him with treats to get him through his farrier visit and trim.

Not afraid of:

-Treats of all kinds
-Getting dirty
-Being alone

So now we will begin the work to try to get him to the point where he is no longer afraid of humans, be them tall or small, or being touched or approached with any pace above a snail.

I am so in love!!!

A girl and her horse

I had a pony when I was very little. This was so long ago that my only true memory of the little shetland pony, Birdy, is when she sat down with myself while my friend Marcie was riding too against a wire fence and we both slid off and I was very offended.

Then, as a young awkward teen, I spent time at my Grandparents house in New Plymouth getting to know my Papa's horse. This was not a small horse, but a very large brown one. The horse and I developed a bond. Or maybe I just thought we had, as I spent a lot of time talking to him and petting him.

I wrote about horses a lot, and my husband and I recently came across my "about me" book, and I guess at the time I had stated... "Horses are my life."

So I guess it makes a lot of sense that I fell in love with a photo of a mini horse. Yes. And three days of talking Nick into it...

I am the proud owner of a four year old mini horse named Rocky.

Part of it was that he was four. Like my second boy would be also. Part of it was that he doesn't really trust people and has a bit of anxiety...

Which I also struggle with.

His owner was also named Julia, and she had rescued Rocky from a rather wild group of mini horses who hadn't had much interaction with people.

So my Rocky has been beaten up pretty good by the horses he was with. He was obviously not the top of the hierarchy, and has the scars to prove he tried to be.

So our family's new mini horse (although he's just above the cut off for that title and also is a pony) has been enjoying the quiet life here in our yard, grazing on our various grasses and rolling in the leaves left over from fall.

He is starting to trust me, but prefers if I don't stand upon approach, but rather get down and let him come to me. He doesn't think he's the boss, but he definitely wants the option of getting away if he feels spooked in the slightest.

We've been talking to each other. He has finally gotten comfortable with me brushing him (although he would prefer to roll in the dirt after a good brushing). The kids are learning to give him space and I am learning to read his facial expressions.

It seems to me, in a horses eye, a whole world of truth is present. To communicate so well with not a word... It's inspiring.

How is the gaze of a horse so filled with so many different emotions. It's a language I am eager to learn.

Somehow, I think Rocky feels the same. He looks with interest as I talk to him, and I can't help but feel that this therapy is worth far more than I could pay for. :)

I don't have photos of him on the computer, but he is a reddish brown, with darker browns here and there. He is beautiful. Handsome.

Really, to be honest, I don't call him Rocky. I call him Handsome. I always felt that starting a friendship with a compliment made for a more fulfilling relationship. So every morning I greet him by calling him "Hello there Handsome" and I can tell he appreciates it.

I'm pretty sure he kind of basks in it, actually. :)


From there to here

I never read my old blogs. I did once and my eyes rolled so far back into my head that I became a bit nauseated and promised myself not to torture myself again by reading my old feelings and my old situations.

I've spent the past year working on trying to accept the changes life has thrown at me, and my heart still fights them. I wish I could say grief was a journey with an end, but it's not... and it's crushing to admit that to myself.

I deleted facebook, which has been a strange feeling. I feel a very odd sense of relief, to have my private life more private... but I do miss getting to see what everyone is up to and baby photos... and all the stuff that facebook was once good for...

 I do think often of signing in and checking on all the people I haven't been able to visit with since then... but then when I do I see the bullying and judgement and cruelness and I can't stay on there. I am not the type of person to remain silent when I see injustice, and because of that facebook is not the place for me.

Lets see... Updates... Grief?

Grief comes in like waves, people say. Sometimes its easier and sometimes its harder. For me, I find it quite a bit different than that. Grief is always there. It is always there, waiting. But my thoughts turn from it now, and I can spend most of my time distracting myself from the physical pain that I feel when my thoughts turn to... to the reality of the difficult feelings I can't seem to avoid entirely.

But then it happens... A song on the radio, a photo... an age of a child I meet. working on the house projects left behind in the wake.... thinking of how I will never have another real reason to visit Seattle... Its hard to swallow when my mind wanders to the rawness. It's still raw, like a scab that you peel off each time you revisit the truths you are avoiding with your thoughts.

However, I've made myself plenty of distractions.

As of now I have 12 animals at home. 2 dogs, 2 cats, 4 chickens, 3 bunnies, and one horse. Mini horse. Well, a pony really, as he is just above the mini horse cut off at 39".

So essentially, a very small farm.

And it helps. And sometimes it hurts because who really needs this many animals and this much busy work? Well, apparently I do. Or I think I do. Or I'm just trying to avoid feeling anything other than busy. But either way... here I am.

Here I am trying.

And what else can you do?
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