9.27.2014

It was less than a week. But in that week, you were the happiest, the most content, the most my baby you ever were.

You are part of me that is missing. It's hard to describe it any other way. How do you describe it when part of your soul has left you with a hollow sound echoing in it. The memories feel like a story now, no longer one I can be a part of or even really imagine.

I stare at places I held you and loved you, but there is no whisper of you in those rooms or hallways anymore. You are gone and that means that part of me is gone.

I will forever ache for you, and it will never lessen. I will hide the ache in my heart, but it's always there and I will always be incomplete. I am incomplete because I have loved you so much that you were a puzzle piece in my soul.

I want to imagine life with you, but I imagine it too well on those days that I do. I imagine it so well that it becomes reality, a reality separate from this one that I wish so badly I could be a part of.

Death will be welcome someday, and I know this to be true simply because I will feel that part of my soul fill again. Because you died, I can die bravely, and I know that to be true.

This story continues on, without my favorite chapter.

I wouldn't dare to dream of a world without any of my children in it. I wouldn't dare to dare you to dream of it.

Don't dream of it, in fact.

Don't reflect on how it would feel.

Reflect on this infinity you are in.

Whether it's a week or a day, these infinities are worth the exhaustion and pain and ache. So love, and don't be afraid to love. Love with each part of you, so much that when your love is gone it aches like this.

This pain is worth the love. It's worth it. I promise it is.

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