3.07.2014

Step One. Putting Grief into a physical action.

This year I am going to work on some healing projects.

I've found that our society has it's own ideas on how to deal with grief, as do many others. Ours is supposed to be a one week ritual, where at the end of the week you bury your loved one and with that you lay to rest the loss. You move on. Speak less of them and try to forget, publicly, how much it will always be a part of you.

I'm not that kind of a griever, I've found. In fact, sometimes I think I might secretly be part of the type of society that wails for a month, wears black for a year and just hurts out loud.

I'm sorry for those who are uncomfortable around it, and I have never intended to try to be a sob story... But If I don't write or think out loud it builds up, and release is a must for someone like me. Thank God for blogs, right?

Anyway...

Step One for me. I'm writing my own story, and starting today I'm finding new ways to accept, befriend and allow my grief to settle in the world around me.

I think this will allow me to move forward in a way. But perhaps it will just edify my soul. My soul needs to do some sort of action list.

Today, I'm going to light a candle. I'm going to talk to God and I'm going to talk to Gabe. I've never done this before, talking to Gabe, because I've always felt... How can a baby, dead or alive, care to hear the boring things that I have to say? But Addie has shown me that talking to a baby is much more important than you might think. They listen, they learn and they hear.

So today I'm lighting a candle for Gabe.

Would you join me?

2 comments:

Tiffany St. Peter said...

Yes, I'll light fifty candles, and hold your hand if it helps you feel close to your sweet boy and helps you grieve his loss. I love you, Julia, and I'm always here if thou need an ear or a shoulder or anything. :)

dirtrider said...

<3
Love you...

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