I think I've found in these recent months that pain changes as it grows. It starts out raw, and then scabs and turns into a scar- but not just any scar... the kind that hurts forever, the kind of scar the very nerves in your skin are forever changed by. You touch the scar and the ache is there, different and even more painful in some ways because you know it won't go away. It will heal more over time, maybe the nerves will ache less, maybe not, but it won't leave.

I will never stop missing my son, and that's okay, because he will never stop being my son.

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