1.26.2013

Hello, I'm a Christian.


Your disbelief or hatred for my beliefs doesn't effect my beliefs. It doesn't upset me if you don't believe as I do, because I don't need you to. It's not a requirement of my faith that I force you to believe what I believe. It's a requirement of my faith that I love you despite our differences. I believe, I have faith in Jesus, in God. If that bothers  you, if you feel the need to tell me what my beliefs entail, you feel free. But don't do it without understanding the entire context of the beliefs you are quoting. Instead of going in looking for a fight for what I believe, why don't you just ask what I believe?

I believe that your life has as much value as mine, no matter how you choose to live it. I believe that you are loved deeply by a God that I feel and know in my heart. I believe that you were forgiven the same as I was for all the sins that you may or may not have committed. I believe our sins are equally painful for the one who died for them, no matter what 'degree' you think they hold.

I don't believe that I can look at you with hatred or disgust if I am looking at you through the eyes of my God. I don't think I can look at you without a love that even I myself may not understand if I am seeing you through the heart of God. That's called Agapi love. It is hard to describe to those who haven't felt it. Irrational love for people who you would otherwise not glance twice at, for people that would otherwise make you uncomfortable.

When you love someone irrationally, it's a God kind of love. You love them despite their beliefs and despite their differences, because you know they were created by someone who adores them.

Hatred has no place in the Agapi love of God.

This is my belief, because I believe what God says. He says you are beautiful and worthwhile, you are imperfectly perfect and I am no closer to perfection than any other person.

Do I live up to my own beliefs? No. I find myself looking at someone with irritation, annoyance, disgust, even, from time to time. It humbles me to know that God is not proud of me in those moments.

What my beliefs mean:

POLITICAL PARTY

Politically, I do not fit with either party, not democratic and not republican. This is really hard for voting purposes. I do not believe in forcing my beliefs on others, but I also do not believe in inhibiting others rights to fight for their beliefs, no matter if I agree with them or I do not.

ABORTIONS

I do not believe in abortion, but I do not believe in outlawing it for the reasons that I have developed from personal stories and experiences. These reasons include the fact that someone in our family is suspected to have hurt themselves in order to end an unwanted pregnancy and in the process could have killed themselves over the issue. I cannot judge this. I also cannot judge someone who has chosen to terminate for medical reasons because they believe their baby is in pain in utero.

I, personally, would never have an abortion. I value life and I believe that my child should live as long as I am capable of supporting them and as long as they fight. I value a pregnant before I even know I am certainly pregnant. I dream of a life that has yet to be born, before I know it is even there.

I believe in counseling and fighting for life, and talking to people about the effects of abortion, the facts of abortion, the loss of life that abortion does certainly cause. I believe abortion is wrong, based on my feelings and experiences. But I also believe that killing yourself to end a pregnancy is horrifying.

Someone once told me that the babies aborted in utero are instantly in heaven, and knowing that gives me some sort of comfort, but does not change my feelings on the issue.

This does not mean that I do not hold a great amount of compassion for those who choose it. My heart bleeds for them, for their baby, that they would think ending a life would be the only way to keep living. Medical Abortions bring a lot more complex and complicated beliefs, and I could talk about it for a long time.. but I suppose you have gotten the jist of my personal beliefs on this matter.

GUNS AND GUN CONTROL

I, personally, do not like guns. My husband loves them, most of my family do not have issues with them. I feel sick and nauseous and dizzy when holding a gun. It's not one of those things that I want to do, which is pretty surprising to myself considering how much I like other things that give you a lot of power.

I do not believe that guns should be banned or taken away from families. I believe families should be able to protect themselves and their children, go shooting at shooting ranges, hunt. I believe it is a right in the constitution for many reasons, and I do not believe it is outdated.

I do believe that there is nothing wrong with having to register your guns or weapons, so long as the government does not try to use that information to infringe upon rights to protect yourself and own a weapon.

My Aunt was murdered by a psycho with a gun. But I am fully aware that it was because he was a psycho and not because the gun was evil. He shouldn't have owned a gun, given his history, and he was clearly mentally unstable, but the fact is that I believe he would have murdered her with or without a gun. He was psychotic. Anyone who is willing to murder people, who wants to murder people, will find a way. Especially if they are the level of psycho that they are planning it out.

The best way to prevent this from happening, in my opinion, is to provide counseling, places to check in if you are having feelings like harming yourself or others, and having many more resources for families with children who have mental disabilities. Right now, there is not nearly enough available to help these people with severe mental issues. Parents have to basically lock themselves away with their child and hope for the best.. and pray that their kid gets arrested before they snap and kill someone. Hospitals will not keep mentally ill patients for long, they medicate them heavily and send them back to their families.

The way to help the mentally ill not commit horrific crimes is to be there for them as a community. It will still happen, evil will always exist, but taking away guns from people who abide by the law will only leave us more defenseless and turn America into another Europe... and I'm sorry, psychos live in Europe too. (Or did you already forget subway bombings and anything else on the news that you didn't want to remember due to your agenda).

BEING PERFECT

Haha, this is sort of a joke. I kind of covered it already, but I want to point out how flawed some of us can begin seeing our own beliefs. In striving to be good and holy, some of us tend to forget we are incapable of it and then start feeling like everyone else should at least be trying too, and if they aren't we start getting all judgy and mean and forget our first rule. Love each other.

Yes, I believe in trying to kill each other with kindness and forgiveness and love and caring. I also believe in being human and completely screwing it up and apologizing and trying all over.. and then sometimes our egos get in the way and we end up screwing that up too.

Honestly, I believe in forgiveness and in love, and those two go hand in hand. Over and over and over and over again. Until you feel sick. Until you think "My gosh, how can anyone forgive me, or how can I forgive them again?" And then I also believe that we will screw that up.

I guess I believe in screwing up. :)

All in all, this post has been to clarify a little of what I believe as a God fearing, Jesus believing kind of a person.

But that doesn't mean I didn't screw it up! :)

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