Re-defining our world

The past year (well, longer than that really) has revolved around two boys in our lives, Judah and Gabe.

Now, down to one boy who is pretty healthy, we are faced with redefining our entire world.

No hospital planning, no staying in random houses with strangers... No figuring out where to eat and who is at the hospital while someone else is with Judah...

It leaves things very openended, because that WAS our life for the past year.

Moving along without that ordeal is something we never thought we would miss (and we don't miss a lot of aspects)... but we miss waiting for Gabe to come home.

Anyway, so we are processing where we go from here right now.

I plan on staying with Judah, because I am not the type of Mom who can stand sending her kid to daycare while working to barely cover the costs of daycare alone... I would rather spend the time with Judah personally... So that is worked out.

Judah has been missing Gabe quite a bit and asking Gabe to come down from the sky to have milk with us...

And I am starting my photography adventures. I have a photoshoot today (building my portfolio) and I want to take a few classes if time permits.

Nick is getting his CNA degree transferred from Washington to Idaho (which will take 2 weeksish) and will be searching for a CNA job while in the process of continuing school (he took this semester off since we lost Gabe at the beginning of it and concentration seemed impossible).

We plan on getting into an apartment in a few months after Nick has a job, and then we will be working on furthering his career a couple steps at a time while I work with Judah and we decide when it's time to introduce our third McAllister to the family...

I only ever planned on having three, so it's kind of weird to have another 'second' child.

Anyway, overall, we are doing pretty badly with the grieving, but still moving along somehow.

We are done with funeral things for the most part... so that's nice.

I never knew how much you could miss someone you only knew for 7 months... but Gabe is missed sorely.

I got my tattoo for Gabe, which was cool, but it's infected. My other tattoo (hummingbird on my back) is fine, thank goodness... But it was really disappointing to have it get infected... and that will mean that it will need a lot of touch up.



Other than that, nothing really happening. Just preparing for 'settling down'.

We are basically starting over... with Judah.

And there is a very empty spot in our car... Like our little 'Life' car with the little red and blue dots. We are missing one of our dots quite a bit.

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