8.29.2012

Happy Birthday...

I know I didn't post yesterday.

We were out celebrating the 'almost' one year of life we had with you.

I am so thankful for you, Gabriel.

I wish you were here to celebrate with us.

I wish that this surreal feeling would mean that it really wasn't real, but it is, isn't it.

I know you are in a better place, but we feel very empty without you.

You were, you are, a very important piece of our family.

You have held us together, Gabe.

I think you were like the glue, the icing on the cake. We still feel the benefits from having you in our world, but they are so much less sweet.

My tears are hiding out somewhere... But the empty spot is still here.

I was sick to my stomach yesterday, all day. Between butterflies and emptiness (and forgetting to eat)... I wonder how on earth I expect to make it through Saturday.

But I know that your life was a life built for the glory of God.

You are my Esther, Gabe.

You did things beyond your capabilities with the help of God, and gave us our memories of you, memories that we will always treasure until we meet you again.

I wonder if you will be grown like Dusty.

But either way, I hope there are hugs in heaven, because I want to hug you once more.

I am so sorry I wasn't stronger when we said goodbye. I am sorry if I scared you, but I was afraid to lose you.

I wasn't afraid of where you are now, but I was so afraid to say goodbye too soon. To give up too soon.

That day, was awful.

But today... I just miss your puzzle piece in our world.

If only we could have brought you home just once more, to see all these people who love you.

I hope you see them somehow. I hope Jesus is telling you all about the destiny that you fulfilled in our lives.

You fought hard, well. Better than any soldier I have ever met.

I am so, so proud of you.

And it was totally worth it.

Love forever,

Mommy

4 comments:

Nita Jo said...

My heart and prayers are with you Julia!

Aleisha said...

We are going to pray you through Saturday, and in the days to follow. There is a song that says "someone is praying you through" and you have so many people that will be doing that. When we feel we don't have the strength to get through things , Jesus is there to hold us up , and to carry us if need be. I can't even begin to imagine losing a child, I have wept so much ,and I don't even know you all. Praying for all of you. God bless

Donna said...

Hello...I came from Nita Jo's blog.

What a Beautiful as well as joyful tribute to your Son...
Please accept love and prayer from me, a total stranger.
Bless your hearts...
(((((HUGGG)))))

Kristin Hankins said...

Gabe will always be with you, Julia. Even when you feel the worst, you aren't alone. He's the air you're breathing, he's in every smile when you start smiling again, he's all around you. {hugs}

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