4.05.2012

Remembering to breathe

Could possibly be the hardest part of this journey we are on.

Last night, I laid on a bench outside until I stopped shivering. Until the cold was welcomed and I could no longer feel the chill. I saw goosebumps on my arms, but I didn't feel anything.

Life can give us so much to handle.

Everyone always says how strong we are, but what else is our choice? To die? To crumble into pieces? Is everyone waiting for us to crumble under the pressure? Shocked that we haven't yet?

Last night, I felt the edges begin to tear on the paper that holds me together. A terrifying feeling, but one I also hadn't expected.

Right now, though I know God heard me last night, he didn't answer. And the chilling fact is that I feel quite alone and empty.

But I know the sun will shine again. It always does.

3 comments:

Mom on a Line said...

Sending you lots of heart hugs.

Rhonda Holtrop said...

Praying right now for you. We were just talking about you guys wondering how things were going as we went to our last visit to Seattle before I am induced this next week in Seattle. Thank you for your strong and powerful words that help us know what to pray for. Let the Lord continue to wrap his arms around you. I pray you feel it now more than ever before= Rhonda and Jason Holtrop

Kristin said...

<3

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