Yesterday Nick and I were talking about something that has been bugging me for weeks.
People tell us we are strong, often. They tell us how much strength we have for what we are going through and what we are fighting for. They tell us how they think we are incredible.
Nick and I, we aren't incredible. We aren't inhumanely strong. We aren't abnormal... At least we shouldn't be.
We are parents.
The truth is, our world has skewed the perception of parents to a point where parents are weak, pathetic, and have no strength left.
As parents, we are given a gift that many long for.
Pregnancy being one of them.
From the second I knew I was pregnant, I was in love with my children at that moment, before that moment, even. I would have given anything I had for their well being, for them to not have to suffer or struggle, for them to be born into a world that welcomes them.
I would have given anything to give them THE BEST care, the best of everything, but most of all, the best love I can give them.
And sacrifice, that shouldn't seem 'heroic' that should be a part of being a Mom.
I was a Mom before my children were born. I knew my job, and it was built into me.
Nick and I, we don't have jobs at the moment. We don't have a home of our own to go to. We don't have insurance (except for Gabe and Judah)- and we don't have an assurance that we will walk away with anything except each other when all is done.
But we both know one thing. We know that as parents it's our duty to provide the most love, the best we can, and we have fought for that. It's not heroic to do so. It's normal! It's normal to want to give your little one's every chance that they can get.
And to those of you who think "But Downs Syndrome..." I honestly get sickened thinking that you would feel that way about my son. He is MY SON. He is no less my son than Judah, his life is of the same value to me and his future holds the same joys for me.
So why would anyone ask me to fight any less for Gabe than I would for Judah?
Judah, we fought for his struggles (though smaller in comparison)- and we learned about being parents who get what their child needs to live.
But for Gabe, we learned about being parents. We learned about fighting for hope when there is none, we learned about valuing life in it's most precious and scary moments.
If you have no children, but you have an imagination, perhaps you can imagine having a child in your arms for the first time. A child that you carried, that you hoped for, that you would lay down your life for. Holding them in your arms for the first time, knowing that they are half you and half your husband, part of your family, so beautiful and so incredible.
If you are a parent, your duty for that child is to be willing to lose EVERYTHING that they would be given the best. That all you would have left is your family to start over with, but knowing that you had given your child the best that you could give them.
It's not heroic, it's being a parent.
And those of you who don't think so- I cannot see how you could feel like a parent if you were not willing to lay down all that you have for your child.
It's not being a hero. It's not being strong. It's being a Mother, a Father. It's knowing that our son's life holds more value to us than our own lives.