10.22.2011

Umm... Satan- who invited you?

I've struggled with mild to severe depression most of my life (since I was about 13-14. I've tried medications briefly, but they just don't work like Jesus works. Medications often tend to make things worse, for me- personally. I know that they can and will help many people, and there is nothing wrong with using them- they are tools that God has given us to assist us.

A major part of my depression tends to happen when I just have too much time to focus on myself and not enough time to focus on others. It gets worse when I'm indoors, but part of it makes me want to stay indoors constantly (counter productive). It happens when I don't get enough excersize, eat right, or get enough sunshine. All of those things help. It helps to have places to take a drive to and relax with my family at... But all in all, depression is something that can happen at any time, for any reason, and it's not simply because I am too self focused... It's also because of hormones, and because of the fact that our lives have been very, very up in the air lately.

My depression tends to smack me in the face so hard that I don't see it coming. And the only thing that helps is time and prayer, and Jesus.

Seriously, Jesus heals depressed thinking. Speaking Jesus' healing over my mind and calling all evil or terrible thoughts out of my mind, it truly helps. It doesn't always work immediately, but always, within a few days- I feel at least more able to mentally rise above it.

Right now, homesickness is playing into things quite a bit. Also, having no idea when we are going home, or what is going to happen next... And the future after this first surgery.. All of that is contributing.

Well, as you probably guessed, my mind and Satan are conspiring against me the past few days. It's been difficult, but I know it will pass and the sun will again shine on my heart and break up this little bout of sadness.

If you don't hear from me lately, it's because I am fighting my own little battle right now. But, it's not terrible and it's going to pass. :)

Thank you for the extra prayers for my mind and well being tonight. I appreciate you!

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