I guess the main thing that has been on our minds lately is how blessed we really are. Gabe is perfect in our eyes and beautiful and ours. He is doing well despite all the odds stacking against him.
I think our main fear is the very huge lack of hope we were given for Gabriel's future. I haven't been able to find anyone with the heart issues that Gabe has that is still living. There have been a few babies with similar defects, but they have passed away. So I guess it would be normal for my fears to be elevated looking into the future of our little man.
We were lucky we were so expectant on God in the first weeks (as we are now). If we hadn't been, Gabe would be gone. I believe that entirely, because they didn't want to operate on Gabe even when his heart function had improved to near perfection. They didn't want to take the risk. We were almost unaware of the fact that our son was born with poor heart function on top of his HLHS and AV Canal Defect- and Downs Syndrome. We just knew that he needed to be fixed- so we pushed for it. We hoped and prayed for it.
Day three, I sobbed all night long. I cried in the middle of the night out to God. "Please let me keep my son. Please save him." From that moment, I had a very amazing peace that stretched across my life. My husband's peace came the next day.
Our son's heart function improved drastically. It was truly a miracle. The heart medicine he was on may have helped, but they actually don't think it's the reason. His heart was healed- so much that they could no longer use it as a reason to deny him surgery. Our prayers were answered.
We were given more time.
In other news- Judah has turned into a complete Mommy's boy. It's shocking in every way possible, because Judah has never been a huge fan of being rocked or cuddled- and suddenly he requires being rocked to sleep. He doesn't want me to be out of the room and will cry hysterically if he thinks I am leaving. I didn't expect it. It's kind of nice to get a little neediness from Judah... He has never been the type. He has wanted to be independent since he was born.
He is learning so many new words. Bankie (Blankie) and ite Pease (bite please) have been a couple of my favorites. He still does his 'nonie nonie no." when he doesn't want something. He also shakes his head no for no apparent reason (until he is dizzy).
He is a master of the up on stairs, but going down is a different challenge. He thinks he can, but he skips steps and steps where there aren't any.... It's a tad frightening.
He has grown substantially since we've been here, but unfortunately just taller and not much rounder. He is inbetween 12 months and 18 months clothes, which is unfortunate since those sizes don't exist.
Wish there was a pause button for Gabe or for Judah. It would be used quite frequently!