8.30.2011

Sweet Gabriel

Oh my sweet boy. Loves to be held, his feet are VERY ticklish, and he sucks on his breathing tube like a binky. I would do anything, anything at all to take every moment of discomfort away from him. I would do anything at all to save him from every second of pain.

I am so exhausted, but sleep is so hard. I am afraid I will miss something. I can't sleep if he is alone- because I am afraid he will feel alone and not fight. He just has to fight.

His heart was the best heart on the monitors, you know. Before he was born, they always said he was the best heart, the most beautiful baby on the floor. I listened to the galloping so proudly, knowing that he was the strongest, as he needed to be.

Crying out to God, not recognizing myself at the moment. My eyes are so swollen I was having a hard time seeing for a while.

The support, it's so needed. It's so wonderful. It's more than a blessing. It's more than a gift. It's everything.

I feel like I have a heart condition right now. I would break my heart in half to give him the other half.

Hearing that a heart transplant wasn't going to happen because of his 'quality of life' if he has down syndrome.. Since he has it... It made me almost angry. But I expected it, due to the research I'd done prenatally.

My baby- my sweet Gabriel... He deserves a heart- a whole heart. He deserves a fight, to fight. He deserves to live. We love him... So much. And we will love him with all our hearts every day we have him. We want him forever.

Hear my Cry Oh God, Attend unto my prayers
From the ends of the Earth, Do I cry unto thee.
When my heart is overwhelmed,
Lead me to the Rock

That is higher than I.
That is higher than I.

Oh Gabriel, get stronger. We love you- so many people love you. You are our baby, and we will never give you up or replace you.

No comments:

There was an error in this gadget

Total Pageviews