I am supposed to be finishing up getting ready, but I thought I would do a short entry before we get everything put in place (since the car is getting adjusted at the moment, anyway).
We had an ultrasound yesterday (apparently for no purpose at all, so we just got to have fun and look at Gabe). We told the tech about Gabe's special heart and she took a look to see if it was immediately noticeable.
She didn't say anything for a moment, so I asked if it was. "Oh yeah." She said.
I can't say I was expecting it to be gone or anything, but hoping that it was less noticeable was definitely in my head. Hoping for a miracle- but I think (as I have thought since we found out) God's miracle is coming from the surgeons and what their hands will do for Gabe.
25 years ago my baby would have died within 2 days of birth- nothing they could do- nothing could change it. 10 years ago his survival rate was probably in the low 20-30 percentage, if that high at all. Now, my son is looking at 85 percent success with all the surgeries, and upwards of 20 years before he will need anything else.
Knowing that I would have been preparing for immediately losing Gabe without a miracle- just 25 years ago- it's humbling to think about. I can't help but wish that our odds were 100 percent- but I will take 85 over 0 or 30 any day.
Now- calculating in the prayers that everyone has been sending out for Gabe, I'm giving him at least 110 percent survival chance.
Giving your child's circumstances to God doesn't mean not acknowledging that they are there- that you are going to go through an extremely crazy journey- that's reality. The journey may or may not have the outcome we are expecting (though at this point we don't really 'expect' anything). It means that you don't put the burden on your shoulders- because that won't give you the strength to fight the battle.
I know God is going to use Gabe's life for something beautiful.
And I am so excited to see what it is.
Just looking at all the other families with "Heart Babies", I know without a shadow of a doubt that Gabe will do something beautiful in our lives from the second we get to meet him (even from the second we met him via kicking :).)
There are so many families that have heart babies, and I am so happy to have them around- even though I wouldn't wish the journey on anyone- these families have hearts of pure gold. They are loving, beautiful, and they know the value of every second you have with your child.
So God- fortify our hearts through the journey we are on. Refine us into shiny gold people who make people excited for Jesus- excited for miracles- excited for love and it's amazing powers.
Back to the packing!
Bless all of you and your families. <3